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As Diabolus Turns

Part 5: Where the Heart Is…

"Whatcha gonna do now, Jeeves, huh?" Marty cackled as he took a step forward, "Got something more to say?"

Jeeves did not speak. He attempted to step up once more but his feet slipped on his own coolant, which dripped into pools on the tiled floor. Shaking in fear, he was unable to make the slightest plea towards his attacker.

"Didn't think so," Marty held up his weapon, aiming it directly at the defenseless man. The charge nearly complete, the high pitched squeal grew faster and faster. "I'll remember you fondly as I celebrate my humble victory with my lady."

The buzz of the laser had reached its max. Jeeves seemed to have accepted his fate as he scrunched up in preparation to meet his own demise. A destiny that would have swiftly been met had it not been for the white figure that leapt before him.

"Marty, NO!" Linda cried out, standing over the defenseless man.

In a last second shift of movement, Marty whipped the canon upwards - the exact moment it discharged. The kick of the weapon sent Marty reeling backwards. The bright beam soared above their heads, rocketing to the upper wall where it exploded on impact. Rubble and debris flew down, landing all around the startled blacorite.

As materials from the building came crashing to the floor, Linda grabbed the wounded Jeeves by the torso and flung him over her shoulder. In a shock, he did not resist as she rushed him away from the waterfall of falling metal and wires.

She carried him to safety several yards away and gently set him down. "Good lord, Jeeves, you're heavy."

"L-Linda!" the man smiled and his eyes widened, tears of joy beginning to form, "You came for me!"

"Well duh," she looked at him with annoyance, "I don't want your nasty guts all over the place. Even though you are more obnoxious in one piece."

Harlie and Enrik immediately rushed to their sides. With a look of terror on his face, Harlie was completely baffled at what had just occurred. He looked between Jeeves and Linda then turned to search for his boss. Meanwhile, Enrik assisted Linda to her feet, "That was a pretty sweet move, Sunshine."     

"This hasn't been the first time I had to save his tail," Linda gestured to the man on the floor.

The bowtie marked man, who was tending to his cuts, peered up at her, "But the other times were just--"

"Shut up, Jeeves," Linda silenced him by smacking him upside the head with her tail, which he sharply yelped to as a result.

On the other side of the room Quinn stood over his creator, who had fallen backwards onto the floor. The blue blacorite scrambled around, searching for his weapon and staff, both of which had been flung from his grasp. He quickly found the latter and gripped it tightly in his hand. "Ok, note to self: fully charged laser canons are a bad idea."

"YOu oK?" Quinn asked with more confusion than concern as he held his small bag, which he had managed to still be carrying through the chase.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm--HOLY HELL!" he screamed as he immediately threw a hand to one of his eyes. His own dark coolant dribbled down from a large, deep gash in his forehead. He tried to reopen his eye, where the liquid had run down into, but it only caused it to sting further. Quinn merely stared at him as he flailed around in pain, whining the entire time.

"Marty, what are you doing?! Are you insane?!" Harlie yelled as he ran up to him, his stripes blazing an even brighter shade of orange.

The boss ignored him as he staggered back up, still holding his aching eye. He looked around in search of his weapon. He spotted it nearby, sitting atop a broken cement block. It had been significantly damaged, either from the fall or from its own blast, streams of smoke filtering out of its cracks.

Marty growled with frustration. He turned around and angrily smacked Quinn's black bag from his hands, spilling its contents all over the floor. Quinn frowned and stepped away as if the vile act had made Marty a monster in his eyes.

Shoving past Harlie, the angered man returned his attention to the target of his affection. "Linda, I can't believe you! I could have given you everything! Yet you choose this… this… butler man over me? I am far more appealing than him and you know it!"

"What? Eww, no!" Linda appeared insulted at the comment, "I'd never go back to Jeeves! I broke up with him for a reason you know."

Jeeves sat up as if he were preparing to retort but Linda whacked him in the face with her tail again. Marty, still with only one good eye, glared between the albino woman and his supposed enemy. A smile slowly grew back onto his face. He sniggered lowly, his posture seeming to relax.

"So I had nothing to worry about this entire time? Ha! I should have known!" he leaned casually against his staff, "You just wanted me to work all this time to win your heart? You're a sly one Lindy!"

Linda smiled back, her posture straightening, "Oh Martykins, you can be so cute sometimes."

Still on the floor, a wave of sadness washed over Jeeves' face. He slumped forward, his coolant still streaming down. Marty cackled, his boastful expression beaming even more apparent than before. Harlie, Enrik, and Quinn simply looked on confused.

However, before Marty had a chance to speak again, Linda smirked and said, "But I'm still not hooking up with you."

Everyone fell silent, eyes wide and smiles vanishing. Both Jeeves and Marty shouted a simultaneous "What?!" in reply. Linda giggled and clasped her hands together in delight as she looked between the two, "You both have been in the wrong this entire time! I don't want either of you. I have someone else entirely in mind."

"Who then?!" Marty's voice rang with shock, "Don't tell me it's Harlie, cause you should know he doesn't swing that way!"

"Wait what?!" Harlie stared at his boss in bewilderment, "Why would you say that?!"

"Silence!" Marty ordered, pointing at him accusingly with Bernard. He then quickly returned his attention to Linda, who was looking upward and smiling as if daydreaming.  

"No, it's not Harbear either," she replied, "It's someone who has always been there for me. Who has been willing to listen to all my problems and who doesn't judge me or push me away. Someone who--"

"Cut the lovey crap and get on with it!" Jeeves snapped from behind.

After a second of silence, Linda joyously confessed, "It's Enrik, of course!"

Astonished gasps exchanged between the group, looks of disbelief crossing their faces. All with the exception of Enrik himself, who stood up from his place beside Jeeves. A pale green smile of his own lined his mouth as he replied, "Hah, sweet."

While the others still stood in awe, Linda gracefully skipped over to the green striped man. She held out her arms and the two embraced, Linda leaning down in order to wrap her arms around his short frame. She lovingly picked him up, with great ease, and twirled around. His small, gangly form simply dangled there.

Jeeves looked up at them, his face filled with horror. Quinn's surprised expression shifted into a smile as he said an adoring, "AwW!" Marty snapped his head towards him, his hard stare causing the DJ to look away.

The pink and green striped blacorite continued to cling together, nuzzling their faces against one another. Their glowing markings blushed brightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, Enny," Linda said, holding him tightly.

Enrik smiled up at her, his limbs simply hanging in her grip, "S'okay, girlie, it happens."

Harlie, still stunned, quietly questioned, "This isn't really happening… right? Please tell me this is just some crazy, horrifically cruel prank?"

Marty ignored him, his good eye narrowing as he glared at the two. His own sensors pinned back in anger and his tail thrashed back and forth across the floor. His fist clenched so tightly to Bernard that his claws began to scratch at its surface.

"This is the final straw," Marty's loathing tone surpassed anything he had previously spoken, every word etched with intense hatred, "You are not going to be with… with… that pathetic excuse of a thing instead of me!"

Setting down the maintenance man, Linda's love-filled eyes hardened as she turned to him, "Excuse me? And who are you to say who I can or cannot be with?"

"Who?! I'm ME! What more could you possible need?!" the blue blacorite's good eye went wide, its appearance frightfully crazed.

With a flick of his wrist, Marty wielded Bernard before him, the staff's form beginning to glow a faint blue. Appearing from nothingness, an object began to solidify around it, a long appendage sticking off from its handle. The other blacorite, save for Linda and Enrik, stepped backward as the creation took form, fear flashing in their eyes.

Marty's smile spread wide across his face. He lifted Bernard high, the blue glow from its surface fading away. In its wake came a metallic attachment to the cane's body: a long, large, and incredibly sharp blade. "If I am not good enough for you… I'm sure as hell not going to sit around watching you with someone else!"

Lunging forward, newly equipped sword pulled back at the ready, Marty took his aim at the green-striped man. Enrik ducked down just as the blade came swiping over his head. However, Marty did not falter, quickly taking a backswing.

The victim of the assault leapt out of the way again, his green stripes blazing with anger. "Not cool, bro."

Linda jumped between the two, holding her arms out in front of her. "There's no need to hurt him, Marty! Or anyone for that matter!"

"I don't want to hurt him, Linda," the man's smile remained plastered on his face, "I want to kill him!"

The man ran forward again but Linda swiftly blocked him, grabbing a hold of his forearms. "NO! Don't let your jealousness get the best of you!" her enraged expression slipped away in place of pleading eyes, "I know you're better than this!"

For a moment a sense of guilt flashed in the blue alien's eyes. His smile fell away and he reopened his damaged eye, its pale blue color now stained with dark violet. The feeling of regret soon vanished and his eyebrows lowered, voice returning to its angered tone, "Fine then. I'll just kill you too!"  

He quickly yanked his arms away from the woman's grasp. Marty shoved his entire body against her, knocking her off-balance and onto the floor. She stared up at him in surprise before scrambling to get back to her feet. She was unable to escape as the enraged man leapt atop her, shoving Bernard down across her throat. While grappling at the weapon, her previously sympathetic eyes flamed with rage once more.


As the two struggled, the remaining group stared on helplessly. Jeeves attempted to get to his feet and aid the attack but his knees buckled beneath him. Fatigue overcoming him, he desperately cried out, "Leave her alone you sorry bastard!"

The insult drew Marty's attention away for a brief moment. The gap of time had been just enough for Enrik to initiate an attack of his own. With a great leap, the small blacorite threw himself onto his boss' back, his weight sending them both toppling over onto the floor. Linda became free from the pressure of the make-shift sword, quickly pulling herself away.

The two males thrashed wildly, the maintenance man clinging tightly to the staff-wielder's neck. In a quick attempt to dislodge his attacker, Marty rolled onto his back, crushing the other alien beneath him. The strain to hold on too much, Enrik released his grip. Marty quickly returned to his feet, holding the sword-bearing Bernard up in preparation.

"Ha! Nice try, Greeny," he smarted as he kneeled over the man, "Next time think before you--"

His words were cut off as a fist came in contact with his snout. Pain shot through him and he instantly held a hand up to his aching face. He fell down onto his tail, barely catching himself in time. Looking up to give a retort to his assailant, he was met with yet another hard punch to his mouth panels. Before he knew it, he was being pounded upon by the small employer.

Despite his typical lax demeanor, Enrik had an enraged frown upon his face. His muscles tensed as he fought back the much larger foe. "Sorry, Bossman, can't have you beatin' up my girl."

Defending himself against the punches, Marty's anger began to boil over. With a great heave he shoved the small man off, sending him falling back against the rumble-coated floor. As Enrik quickly got to his feet, his boss returned with an attack of his own. Slashing the sword just above his head again, the green blacorite barely had time to duck out of the way. The attack having failed, Marty shoved the man back with Bernard. Enrik grabbed hold but could not match the bigger man's strength.

Marty frowned, his fiery eyes glaring angrily at him. "Hope you had a nice last day of work, Hippie!"

Before he had a chance to attack the man again, Linda rushed him from behind. She wrapped her arm around his throat and yanked his head back by his sensors. Marty cried out in a mixture of pain and anger. Equally as enraged, the albino woman pulled her grip tight, adding pressure to the slender man's throat. As he threw back his sword in a desperate attempt at hitting her, she grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Don't you even dare!" she growled.

Ignoring her warning, Marty managed to pull his hand away just enough to sharply jab the woman in the ribcage with the narrow end of his cane. In reaction she loosened her hold and Marty quickly slipped away. He whipped around a couple yards off and faced the woman. Enrik came rushing up to stand beside her, the two holding their ground before their love-crazed boss.

Pointing his sword forward, Marty appeared ready to speak again but the stunned Harlie ran out between his boss and employees. "Dear mother of god QUIT IT ALREADY!"

The blue blacorite appeared unimpressed by his second-in-command's actions. "Okay, seriously now, can a man not slaughter his enemies in peace anymore?"

"They're not your enemies, they're your workers!" the man tried to reason.

Struggling to his feet and holding a hand to his wound, Jeeves staggered over to them. He walked up to the albino woman, his past love, and took a stance beside her. He did not say anything, though the look in his eyes expressed a sense of understanding as he looked up at her. She smiled slightly and put an arm around him, wrapping the other around Enrik as he stood on her other side. Following shortly after came Quinn, who took his place beside the orange blacorite, smiling wide.

Feeling a sense of confidence, Harlie gestured at the newly formed group with his hands, "And in some really weird, disturbing, slightly crazy way they're also your friends! Don't you see that?"

Marty did not buy the enchanting sentiment in the slightest. "Uhhh, no. I've heard cheesier pieces of dialogue in a soap opera. Now get out of the way!"

Not sparing another moment, the Diabolus leader sprinted forward with sword at the draw. He did not get far when his feet came in contact with the spilled fishing toy pieces that remained on the floor from earlier. As the tiny pieces of plastic slipped out from under him, his balance became erratic. Continuing to step on more pieces, his momentum sent him falling forward. Before he hit the ground his staff flew out of his hands. The entire group braced themselves as the sharp dagger soared toward them.  

Then they heard a sickening thunk.

Everyone, even Marty himself, looked up, horrified. Dark violet coolant poured out onto the dusty tiled floor. Rivers of the warm liquid streamed down the victim's black legs. He reached down and felt the sharp blade as it pierced through his abdomen. The shock of the visual froze his entire body, overcoming any sense of pain he may have had.  

Linda rushed forward, her voice yelling out in terror.

Next: [link]
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Well I think it's official, Marty has entered Crazy Town. 8D

This chapter is so jam-packed with things. Damsel-in-Distress!Jeeves, Psycho!Marty, Hero!Linda, Manly!Enrik. SO MUCH IS HAPPENING YOUR BRAIN JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!

Yup. It's true. LindaxEnrik fo' eva. It all makes sense now...
And you guys thought Linda had the hots for Harlie~ hurr

... Oh oops, seems I killed someone.
My bad. :D

One part remains and the fate of the group shall be sealed~ dun dun DUUUN! :U

Marty, Quinn, Diabolus, & Blacorites ~NuclearLoop
Harlie ~StupidShepherd
Enrik ~kalil969
Jeeves ~AmiliaLongTail
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Cloudbat Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I want to marry this story. -clings to it like Kaikai clings to sparkly Feddy-
AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I now pronounce you Reader and Writing. You may now highfive the screen. *throws rice*
Cloudbat Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconchuuplz: -actually just highfived the screen-
Cloudbat Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconchuuplz: -actually just highfived the screen-
tbolt Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
The big thing I really want to know now is what turned the undesired suitors into psychotic maniacs, and will this somehow end up being Linda's fault?

Looking forward to the next installment! =^^=
AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Haha, it is a mystery~ :D

Thank you!
AmiliaLongTail Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
So much violent dramaaaaaaaaaa! D8 *quietly develops conspiracy theories*

Now you're going to have one very pissed off, heartbroken Charlie on your hands, Marty. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, you know~
AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Violence is never the answer! But it is the most effective! 8D

Charlie will not be happy at all. >8C She will avenge her man! Whatever it takes!
Darkside-Rojas Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Marty you jacka$$!!!!...
(que southpark voices)
AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student Digital Artist
:icondarthvadernoplz: THE HORROR!
Darkside-Rojas Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
NuclearLoop Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Well, Harlie IS orange after all xD
Darkside-Rojas Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
the sad part was, I wasnt even thinking bout the color hurhur
NuclearLoop Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Student Digital Artist
All more the irony!
DarkTail67 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw gosh D: 'Harlie!' indeed, why you moronic...moron Marty you! ...yeah!

Anyway, I spotted a single one typo here, which I shall now point out: Marty's loathing tone surpassed anything he had preciously spoken, every word etched with intense hatred,

...I think the mistake is obvious :B Anyway, asdfasdgjkasdf final part, goshdangit! >(
AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Way to go, Marty, killing the one guy who actual does anything! >:U

Ahaha preciously spoken. xD When you read it like that it makes the whole mood different and highly amusing.
DarkTail67 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Yep xD
xX-Duskpelt-Xx Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011
How did I not see that EnrikXLinda is just PERFECT. >:I

Martyyyy you killed Harlieee D:
Now how are you gonna fix THAT?
AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011  Student Digital Artist
It's so perfect that you were blinded by its presence!

All Harlie ever did was serve you, then you go ramming a sword through his gut? Nice.
With duct tape of course! 8D
Zumoarikuta Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
 NUUUUUUUU!! Harlie!! DX
xX-Duskpelt-Xx Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011
X_X The perfect is like white light. Its there but I just couldnt see it.
And now Marty's gonna have to do ALL that work by himself. Good job. Gave yourself more work.
Duct tape fixes everything!! X3
MalimarTheMage Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011  Professional General Artist
Hey, I like your new ID :la: :iconchristmastreeplz:

I think Quinn is my favorite character. His cluelessness and mindless joy just spawn hilarity XD

Uuuuuuhhhhhh...What the fudge is going on? :confused: Why does Linda like Enrik now?!!! Why does Enrik like Linda? (did he even like her in the first place?) Is there some sort of dimentia-virus-glitch-thing going around causing all this? I'm with Harlie on this one...Wait. Scratch that. It was just a ruse X'DDD (I think)

No, not Harlie! :ohnoes:
AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student Digital Artist
haha thanks! 8D I like it too xD

Little Quinny just can't help himself. He's an innocent soul amongst all this madness!

So many questions, so little time! Tune in next time~ pff

Yes, Harlie. 8C

MalimarTheMage Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Professional General Artist
That's why it's funny XD He doesn't understand or care half the time.

Curse you intermissions!!! :shakefist:
StupidShepherd Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011  Student
Well shoot, wasn't expecting that XD


seriously can't wait to see how this ends now though XD
AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Nooope. 8D
That Harlie is just Chuck Testa.


Hopefully it shall not be too long 8D
StupidShepherd Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student

NuclearLoop Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011  Student Digital Artist
This was far too amusing x'D

And damn Mart, you SERIOUSLY need to take a chill pill you crazy ass >:U

AlfaFilly Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I don't think a chill pill can even fix him at this point. He just needs to be thrown in a straitjacket. 8D

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